The following piece is taken from The Aleppo Project’s Adnan Samman’s op-ed for The National about the last time he saw his hometown, Hama, during one last visit to Syria ten years ago. 

Every year, Eid brings a melancholic set of memories. I remember the family gatherings back home in Syria, the great food, new clothes, gifts and toys. As years passed by, I never got used to being indefinitely exiled. Each year brings its own new set of memories. Life goes on. This year, however, I have found myself marking a milestone that I never wanted to reach in the first place. It is now a decade since I left Syria. It was the first morning after Eid in 2010 that I closed the door to my room for the last time and left my home.

A lot has happened since then. It has been more than nine years since the onset of Syria’s civil war. More than half a million people have been killed, and nearly half of all Syrians are internally displaced or have sought refuge abroad. Those who remain must endure terrible living conditions, repression in regime-held areas, as well as daily violence. Those who have escaped have to live with the fact that they may never be able to come home again.

I was living abroad before the conflict started. My parents had a very tough time making a good living as teachers in Syria. This left them with little choice but to seek employment elsewhere.

In 1998, my father was offered work at a school in Riyadh. He took the job and travelled there, forced to leave us behind. Luckily, his financial situation improved and my family was able to move to Saudi Arabia in the autumn of 2003.

Hama, 1998, photo courtesy of Pilar Torres

After that, we started spending our summer vacations in Syria. Every year, I would essentially leave my life in Riyadh behind and go live a new one for a couple of months in my home town of Hama.
During that time, I did not have a phone, access to the internet or any connection with my school friends in Saudi Arabia. Honestly, during those first years abroad, it became quite hard to go back home. It even felt like a chore.

The holidays started to become more and more exciting as I grew up. By the time of my last visit in 2010, I was almost 17 and living my best life. That year was wonderful. It was the year of the World Cup in South Africa and people were out celebrating in cafes all day.

Although Hama is quite small, I came to realise there is a lot to see and explore. My brother and I developed a serious obsession for collecting DVDs and records. We walked all over the city and looked for interesting material in the least expected places. That new passion introduced us to a unique side of our city. The enjoyment I got from going on the hunt for Hama’s hidden gems was like nothing I had ever experienced before.

Hama, 2010, photo courtesy of Hans Christian

To this day, these are some of the things I am most grateful for during my last summer in Syria; 2010 was also the year when I became genuinely interested in my local history.

I had been passing by all those beautiful water wheels and old buildings for years without looking twice – probably because I was only a child, but still, we really do take things for granted sometimes. I know I did and I regret it. But who would have thought that a decade could pass by without being able to go back home? Certainly not my 17-year-old self.

To read the rest of the story as published on The National, click here